An Extensive Profile of The #Girlboss: How She's Blocking True Feminism.
- Alyssa
- Dec 24, 2021
- 14 min read
Updated: Jul 10, 2023
You’ve seen the TikTok comments and Twitter threads, you’ve used the hashtags, and you know about the three “g’s”: Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss. The “Girlboss” meme has spiked in social media popularity throughout the past year and it’s truly everywhere: we’ve all probably enjoyed seeing “Girlboss” be used in a hilarious context. In fact, one of my close friends and I started to use it as an ironic term of endearment towards each other. But as most terms do, (which is why girlboss is at times cleverly paired with gaslight and gatekeep as they have gone through the same dilemma), the word gets thrown around so many times that it loses its meaning and causes people to not understand its original intent. But everyone should know exactly why we are laughing at it. It can become dangerous when we use that term to make fun of well-meaning feminism and genuine progress for the movement. In truth, the term girlboss is a critique of a certain type of feminism. You might have heard the terms liberal feminism, white feminism, capitalist feminism, millennial feminism, mainstream feminism, and now “Girlboss” feminism, but all of these can be interchangeable. The common thread is that they are not intersectional and are setting back progressive movements as we speak. I want to dive deeper and explore the critiques of girlboss feminism: why it’s here, and how it has impacted us.
We should begin with the aforementioned word itself. Some might be wondering, what exactly is a girlboss? Who is this character that represents a large societal problem? Well, the girlboss is supposed to be seen as a “Feminist Icon”. Perhaps she is a woman who has worked her way up in the corporate world, specifically in male-dominated fields, and is doing her thing as an “Empowered Woman.” But where does this empowerment come from? More often than not, it comes from succeeding in a corrupt system fueled by capitalism. As The Take says in their video “The Problem with Girl Power - Its Capitalist Agenda”: “The philosophy of girl power implied women should empower themselves as individuals instead of dismantling the systems that stood in the way of gender equality.” Although The Take uses the term “Girl Power” in their analysis, it acts in the same ways that girlboss feminism does. Another way to think about girlboss feminism is to imagine this: taking an extra seat at the table that oppresses you and marginalized women instead of smashing it completely. It’s not really a success for all women then! At times it’s hard for people to hear typical liberal feminism sayings like “Girls Can Do Anything” when the person who’s saying it is unaware that situations are not the same for all women! And even though, yes, women can “do anything”, they don’t always have the opportunities to. Here’s another definition of a girlboss that is perfectly ex-
pressed:
A girlboss is a white, straight, female celebrity who laments her struggles as a woman in the industry but remains silent on anything revolving around queer women or women of color. A girlboss, in this negative, unfeminist sense, is a capitalist, elitist mess of a woman who just happens to be wearing a pencil skirt and slapping an “I’m With Her!” bumper sticker on her hybrid car. (Maclean)
Mainstream girlboss feminism has birthed the idea of “Girls Supporting Girls”, which although sounds amazing in theory, because of the desirable notion of not succumbing to the age-old competition we have been put through since the beginning of time, it really just sets back progress. If a woman (more often than not a white woman) gets called out for something she did that was genuinely wrong, girlbosses galore might say “Well what about Girls Supporting Girls?” But just because one is a woman, doesn’t mean they’re automatically a “Feminist Icon”. Especially if they do bad things and profit off of a system that has hurt women, more specifically women of color, LGBTQ+ women, disabled women, and women of a lower financial class.
Here’s a wild and absolutely perfect example that puts a name to the girlboss: A close friend told me about Elizabeth Holmes, who is noted to be the youngest female self-made billionaire who founded the company Theranos, which would test blood for different diseases. A supposed breakthrough in the world of STEM, and by a woman nonetheless! Wow, how cool right? But then reality hits and you discover that Elizabeth Holmes never had any credentials in the medical world and the whole business was a fraud, and as I write this she is currently on trial for wire fraud and conspiracy. Not so much a “Feminist Icon” now is she? Another example, and something that actually made me laugh out loud, was a clip of singer Mel B on The Eric Andre Show. Mel B is a former member of the British pop girl group The Spice Girls, who were all about “Girl Power” in their prime. Quick-witted host Eric Andre asks Mel B if whether or not she thinks Margaret Thatcher, Britain’s first female Prime Minister, had girl power. She answers yes excitedly but then gets hit with a difficult question: “Do you think she effectively utilized girl power by funneling money to illegal paramilitary death squads in Northern Ireland?” (“The Problem with Girl Power- Its Capitalist Agenda). Mel B sure wasn’t expecting that, but Andre was making a rather good point. It seems Mel B was taken under the influence of girlboss feminism at that moment. The fact that Thatcher was able to take on that position as a woman can be seen as “Empowering” to the girlboss, but at what cost? I also wanted to add a fictional representation of a girlboss with the character of Nicole Mossbacher from the HBO series The White Lotus, which gained so much attraction this summer for its amazing social commentary on white privilege. Nicole is a successful CFO, assumed to be all for feminism, but she is ignorant and rude toward problems that don’t affect her and her family. She also tells her daughter how much women in her generation admired Hillary Clinton (perfectly written as Clinton herself can be seen as a girlboss for her own deceitful actions despite her political success), while at the same time saying that it’s hard for straight white young men these days because no one has sympathy for them. So painful to watch!
Interestingly enough: sometimes even the most successful of girlbosses still struggle to keep up with men and face sexism in their designated fields. But imagine how harder it is for women of color and other minorities. A lot of women of color have been trying to tell this to the girlboss feminism folk for decades! As I mentioned earlier, girlboss feminism has become synonymous with white feminism- clearly not intersectional at all. But as we critique one type of feminism, it’s so important to be reminded of intersectional feminism. Intersectionality was a term coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw to look at how people can experience different forms of discrimination at once, and how race, class, etc, can have an impact on sexism. There are different intersections on a street of discrimination, and some can be standing exactly in the middle. This is further explained by author Mikki Kendall in her book Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot: “An intersectional approach to feminism requires understanding that too often mainstream feminism ignores that Black women and other women of color are the proverbial canaries in the coal mine of hate” (11). The sad truth is a lot of the “iconic” leaders in the most famous feminist movements, like Susan B. Anthony and Betty Friedan, often excluded women of color, queer women, and lower-class women. That racism was shown in earlier movements is sadly still here today:
It was the same racism we had always seen masked as feminism playing out in real time. Feminism that could ignore police brutality killing women of color, that could ignore the steady disenfranchisement and abuse in local and national politics of some women based on race and religion, wasn’t about equality or equity for all women; it was about benefiting white women at the expense of all others. (Kendall, 13)
But prominent Black feminists such as Audre Lorde and bell hooks have worked hard for decades to write about these concepts and work against white feminism. The popular saying that is “If Your Feminism Is Not Intersectional Then It Is Not Feminism!” is extremely true! The fact that many women are not being seen and that people of color are not being listened to is 100% the most disheartening part of girlboss feminism. How can we have a progressive movement without looking at these complexities?
Another issue of girlboss
feminism would be the fact that there is this notion that women have to “Become The Man To Beat The Man”. Or, that true equality is being given the same rights as men, but really it’s only white men in positions of power- who can often be corrupt and use toxic aspects of masculinity to harm others. Femininity is often seen as bad in these girlboss beliefs, and that true success can only happen when women lose traits that made them who they are in favor of some aspects of masculinity (of course there is a bit of generalizing here, I'm not claiming that any man, woman, or person has these exact traits). And weirdly enough, misogyny spread throughout society, with people hating on women who were stereotypically feminine (the poor curse of internalized misogyny!). This is representative of classic gender stereotypes that we have studied before: that masculine is “strong” and “desired” while femininity is “dumb” and “weak.” For example, remember Elizabeth Holmes? Well, she was known for her deep, almost baritone-like voice. But it was then revealed that she had been putting on that voice as a facade when she actually had a higher-pitched voice, the same one common for most women. She was most likely doing this to be taken seriously, to own her girlboss narrative as a “Strong And Independent Woman” by developing a stereotypically masculine trait. Ideas like these have spread into connotations for work and appearance through liberal feminism: “Too often mainstream feminism embraces an idea that women must follow a work path prescribed by cisgender white men in order for their labor to matter” (Kendall, 4). Capitalism has been able to trick people into thinking that if you are not a business owner working from the ground up, or if you’re not on “The Grind”, then you are not “empowered.” Although in reality, this is certainly not the case, and Mikki Kendall is spot on as she states: “But everyone, from a person who needs care to a stay-at-home parent to a sex worker, matters and deserves to be respected whether they are in their home or in an office” (Kendall, 4). You can show femininity and be strong, and you can show emotion and get the job done. In fact, it might even be beneficial to create positive work environments. The CW show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend always features fantastic social commentary in the form of songs, and their “Lady Boss” song hits the nail on the head. It’s about women bosses who are dealing with the struggles of being “in charge” while still carrying worries that most women do. Sometimes it can be hard to manage when being caring is seen as a bad thing for feminism. Some lyrics include: “I want you to do what I want but let me say it in a nice way, oh right I shouldn’t care if you think I’m nice, do you think I’m a b****? Well, I don’t give a s*** but if I do give a s*** does that make me weak?” and “Get a Ruth Bader Ginsberg pillow for your office to muffle the sounds of sobs.” They make fun of the fact that it’s not always easy to be a woman in a position of power no matter how many times the girlboss propaganda is thrown at people. And no matter how much powerful women's merchandise you can purchase, it won’t make a change unless the problems are addressed instead of just throwing buzzwords and feminist shirts around!
When it comes to beauty culture, we see girlboss feminism in full swing in beauty product advertising and media. We are all aware that these origins of makeup, anti-aging products, etc, weren’t exactly the most “feminist” as it’s been used as a way of oppression- to fuel some pretty toxic standards. As feminism grew more and more popular, companies were in need of ways to advertise their products since people were becoming aware of the standards, and a lot of the culture began to change into the idea of “It’s all for you girl, not for him!” What’s painfully ironic if you ask me is that they use feminist empowerment words and concepts that although sound nice out of context, are used to sell the one thing that’s been telling people “You’re not good enough!” It’s tainted with consumerism and a lack of care from companies and is hard to take seriously. That plagues the question: is it empowering to get dolled up, wear heels that are often uncomfortable, and give yourself a “Glow Up”? Is it really for yourself at the end of the day? This is what the song “Put Yourself
First”, also from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, explores. It features the ways in which women are introduced to new things to be insecure about and products to buy, that sometimes even sound like contraptions (in the song they reference “fake eyelids”!- and no one has any idea what that is!) The song is a direct knockoff of other “Empowerment” songs, sonically and visually through the music video. In fact, there is even a photographer with a “Male-Gaze” shirt on, directly calling out that sometimes “empowerment” could be the workings of the patriarchy in disguise. Some of the lyrics include: “Push them boobs up just for yourself, wear six-inch heels just for yourself, (“if it’s just for myself shouldn’t I be comfortable?”) No! Put yourself first in a sexy way.” Mikki Kendall touches on the male-gaze component through an intersectional lens: “Mainstream feminist engagement with beauty culture often centers on the male gaze and its impact, but that’s not the only toxic component. The ways that being white, cis, slim, and able-bodied are valorized must be addressed” (112). A lot of popular beauty standards only apply to Eurocentric features, and affect many women’s view of typical appearance-based “femininity.” Now some girlboss feminists claim that the beauty world is “feminist” and “empowering”, while some don’t.
It’s a tricky subject. I think I’ve come to terms with the fact that maybe the aspect of reclaiming makeup and beauty is not super feminist, but it’s still something I love. I’ve used makeup starting in my pre-teen years, which may or may not be considered “sad” in terms of the standards. Sometimes I play around with my looks while I’m alone just for fun, but I can’t lie and say that I haven’t used makeup at times as a way to feel “prettier.” And I’m not saying that all people use makeup because they feel insecure or that they feel the need to look a certain way around people, but rather I’m saying that we have all been impacted by the male gaze and fantasies, because of the sole purpose and existence of makeup in the first place! It seems as if patriarchy lingers in almost everything we do, as Margaret Atwood stated: “You are a woman with a man inside watching a woman. You are your own voyeur.” It’s important to recognize things like that so we can open up discussions for change in beauty culture. Some people do special effects makeup for art, and generally, I would never want to take the joy of makeup away, because it’s something I and a lot of people do enjoy. I’m not saying that we should burn every single mascara tube in existence! But, people’s relationships with makeup and beauty culture are not the same! Many women are forced or expected to wear makeup for work and in other areas of life, so sometimes makeup is not always a choice. At the end of the day, here’s my advice: if you do happen to have that prerogative (which I really hope you do- whatever your situation is), I say wear the makeup or don’t wear the makeup. Because in hindsight, feminist actions don’t necessarily come from your appearance or what you wear. We should really be aware of and make ways for the root of beauty culture to be discovered. We should know how they are often not intersectional, so we can begin to unpack the ways we think about makeup and beauty, and how we treat others. But, if you still wear lipgloss while doing it, so be it! It won’t make the changes itself!
Another aspect that inspired me to write this was that I truly think intersectional and well-meaning feminism has been misconstrued and often mixed in with the girlboss pool of things. Take this for example: many conservative women like to argue that “Feminists have ruined their dreams of becoming a stay-at-home mom.” They have also said things like, “I just wanted to stay at home and bake banana bread all day ugh I hate feminism.” How ironic! Because that is capitalist feminism to a T! It’s not intersectional feminism that they are talking about! They’re actually critiquing the idea that you are defined solely by what you do for work which is rather exploitative! Although they’re trying to hate feminism, it seems to me and many other people that they have more of a problem with the spirit of capitalism and girlboss feminism, the one that feels as if individual, financial success equates to change for all, than they do feminism. Firstly, most women do not have the choice of whether they want to stay at home or not. Usually, they have to work to make a living. And even if women had the financial means to stay at home, it doesn’t make someone a feminist or anti-feminist. The heart of feminism is not about being a career woman or being a stay-at-home mom, it’s about calling out injustices. Here is bell hooks’ definition which rejects the idea of feminism really being all about “equality”: "Feminism is a movement to end sexism, sexist exploitation, and oppression [...] the movement is not about being anti-male. It makes it clear that the problem is sexism. And that clarity helps us remember that all of us, female and male, have been socialized from birth on to accept sexist thought and action" (“Feminism is for Everybody”).
Even harmless jokes such as “Sorry to feminism but I want him to defend my honor” are actually direct responses to girlboss feminism. Of course, you can have a loving stable relationship with a partner, or have a man be loving, protective, and take care of you, and still be a feminist, have your own worth, and be independent! They’re not mutually exclusive!
Using these examples we can see how feminism has become a punchline at times. Lots of people even associate intersectional feminism and gender studies classes with this girlboss white disingenuous feminism. And it makes sense, that’s why girlboss feminism is often called mainstream feminism: it’s popular, it’s quick, and it’s easy for people to understand. But what’s not easy are the complexities it misses and the humans it impacts, and that’s why it needs to be critiqued. And I definitely don’t blame people who have seen feminism and its studies as disingenuous white feminism, because many times they’re right! But it’s become awful to see women who are genuine and intersectional get made fun of because there’s a difference! Teasing a feminist all the time when it is not necessary is not doing anyone any favors. Here’s a take I enjoyed that sums up everything perfectly:
However, there is also a difference between holding
an individual accountable and making
harmful generalized assumptions based on a couple people’s actions. The social media girlboss critique, though rooted in a clearly legitimate problem, has evolved from calling out indisputably hypocritical women to instead demonizing women’s success as a whole. Sarcastically calling any woman who takes initiative a “girlboss” inexplicitly undermines her power and mocks her ambition. (Nevo).
Remember, not all working women are girlbosses who are creating toxic environments, or are corrupt like Elizabeth Holmes, or are the women who correlate body insecurity to empowerment.
Lots of successful women recognize their privilege and are actively working to make changes and help out other women. Feminism can be an incredible thing, only when we truly have everyone in the conversation and call out the hard issues.
To conclude, I want to thank the amazing feminists of color such as Kimberlé Crenshaw, Mikki Kendall, bell hooks, and Audre Lorde for writing and presenting incredible intellectual pieces that inspired me and so many others!
So the next time when you hear those three g’s, or maybe even see a girlboss “Girlboss a bit too close to the sun”, laugh as hard as you can, if you want to! But remember those origins behind it, and know that not every feminist is necessarily a girlboss, but that every girlboss needs some serious intersectionality in her life ;)
Here are the links to the two Crazy Ex-Girlfriend videos! They might give you a laugh!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L2_79T1P2qo&ab_channel=VanityFair
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H2lmojePnA0&ab_channel=racheldoesstuff
Although it might be hard to believe, TikTok has become a way for me and many others to learn! I wanted to link a few that correlate to this topic. These give more perspective and are fun AND informative! I encourage you to check them out! They’re pretty short!
(This first one always makes me laugh but it is extremely accurate!)
Works Cited
hooks, bell. “Feminism Is for Everybody by Bell Hooks.” Pluto Press, Independent Radical Publishing, 21 Sept. 2017, https://www.plutobooks.com/blog/feminism-is-for-everybody-bell-hooks/.
Kendall, Mikki. Hood Feminism: Notes from the Women That a Movement Forgot. Penguin Books, 2020.
MacLean, Meredith. “Nice Try, Amazon: Camilla Cabello's 'Cinderella' Is Still Super Sexist.” The Daily Targum, Targum Publishing Company, 13 Sept. 2021, https://dailytargum.com/article/2021/09/nice-try-amazon-camilla-cabellos-cinderella-is-still-super-sexist.
Nevo, Lily. “Opinion: Nevo: Girlboss Feminism Is Harmful. Mocking It May Be Too.” The Daily Northwestern, 7 May 2021, https://dailynorthwestern.com/2021/05/06/opinion/nevo-girlboss-feminism-is-harmful-mocking-it-may-be-too/.
“The Problem with Girl Power - Its Capitalist Agenda.” YouTube, uploaded by The Take, 6 November 2021, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6hUlUgicSE&ab_channel=TheTake
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